So whenever my roomie leaves I do a craft and reorganize my side of the room. So far I've moved my filing cabinet and art dresser. As for crafts I've made this cute Sam Manson poster with Sam in a Kimono, I designed a shoe, and I'm working on 5 different posters (3 of those I've inked).

In other news, I don't know if you guys know but I have two laptops. My awesome brand new mac that keeps me company and makes me think of home and my 10 year old Windows laptop who is awesome 'cause he's survived so long without being updated. My mac is my everyday, everything computer aka Ambassador of Fun computer and my Windows is my concentration computer. All my essays, stories, important trains of thoughts are on that laptop. Unfortunately my Windows laptop's not working, with all my stories with the most recent updates ever. I'm missing the characters in my stories as the screen just shows me the black screen of death. I miss Adelaide, Alex, Jeff, Vera, Danny, Peter, Aldine, Max, Fang, Iggy, Jarred, the twins, and more. I miss Adelaide because she's most like me and her character makes me look forward to the future. I miss Alex because he's the most selfless bittersweet person I've ever created. Vera and Danny, they were so close! Peter is a unique soul with Aldine as his 'I'm seventeen with newly found dreams' best friend. Peter wants Aldine to be his Wendy but that wouldn't be a fair story, since the two don't really end up together in the real story... I can get the data off of the Windows but I have to wait until the 9th. What's unfortunate is that I'm lonely for Adelaide now... I'm lonely for Alex's kind and understanding smile. I'm lonely for Peter's silence but his presence gives the feeling of the ultimate friendship.

I'll try and post some of my crafts and assignments since I'm kept busy in my art classes. Until then, I'm going back to my lonely dorm room with a bed that should have never been a bed. Silly Dorm Rooms.

If you wanna talk, draw with me, or whatever I'm here.

Well I'm in college now, I just attended my first day of college and yeah...

My first class of the day involved us being kicked out of the classroom and then being put back in said classroom halfway through the class. My second was pretty fun, it's called Design 1. Yeah. So I went to go buy my art supplies and guess how much? $100 big ones not including tax. Eep.

So the reason I'm telling you to call me Rudolph is 'cause my nose is insanely painful. It's beet red. It's been that way for the past couple of days. So yeah, my first day of school and my nose looks like it's been sunburned and swollen. gah.

So now that I'm in college I'm curious (well not that it's just because I'm in college) how's everyone doin'?

Adieu
Nightwing

It's obvious I'm a college student because my things for my dorm are waiting downstairs. The 'children's retreat' my sister and I called home is completely different than it used to be. To me it's like a shell, it's a room I can't breathe in, suddenly this place realizes I'm leaving so it wants me out.

I love my home, don't get me wrong but I'm slowly feeling like this isn't home. It's not a place I could return to comfortably. Downstairs is a silently designated 'mom's room'. the colors are a dark warm, not so much as inviting but it embraced my mom's asian heritage. I respect that. It was a place you could curl up on the couch whether or not it was cold outside. It was comfy.

Upstairs was like that too, comfy I mean, but it slowly began to change. The Entertainment room is more of my Dad's room and my mom's office was decorated to look like the beach. Ok, fine. But the Children's retreat became an extension of her office. It was no longer a child's retreat but my mother's with a corner for the ghost of what the room was.But that's not exactly true either. What I say is a ghost is just a computer and a printer. The books we were going to display in this room, she wants only the ones she approves of to be up and put the others in decorative boxes. I know she wants this place to look clean all the time but she's taking away our room. No that's not right, my room, my sister's fine with the change. She loves it.

I don't like it. I hate the beach. I hate the color white. I only like it in small doses. I dislike brown unless it's on trees/wood. The blue on the walls makes me think I'm being swallowed by the ocean. I don't like this room I'm sitting in anymore. It makes me uncomfortable, like I can't breathe. I say that and I get played the 'you're not even gonna be here card'. But it means a lot to Mom. She can relax here. I can deal with it but how she can relax here is beyond my comprehension. It makes me want to scream.

You have to understand why I'm so unsettled by this room. Why it bothers me so much I'm crying 'cause I miss the old room so much. And it's easy enough to explain.I associate specific feelings or actions or whatever to the colors in my mind. there are some that appropriately general and some may surprise you.

We'll start with yellow and go clockwise.

yellow - it's a bittersweet color like blue. It's abrasive and sharp. the brighter it is the more one wants to look away. the darker it is the more it's like the taste of honey to me. Thick, sticky, and far from sweet. It's more bitter but hopeful as if wanting attention.

Green - I hate this color unless it's in nature. It calls out jealousy, it's bitter like blue and yellow but never sweet. it reminds me of disgusting things. It is the most unnatural color in the world unless it's in plant life.

Blue - bittersweet like yellow. It's sad but calming. It's a push and pull color. Sometimes I can stare at this color and be fine but other times it reminds me of the ocean or deep and dangerous water. It makes me feel helpless and scared but can turn around and be snug and inviting like the sky.

Violet/Purple - rumored to be my color, the color of my personality. It's the color of pain, of bruises one is never sure will heal properly. It contains the startling warmth and mild confidence of red but the sadness of blue.

Red - a powerful color. It's the color of hatred and love. The color of confidence but also the color of blood. it is a dynamic color; it is ( for a fact) the most unnatural color here. You can only see it in nature if you catch the sun setting or rising. Only if a dreadful fire flames up during the day or a campfire lights up at night. You can only see it on a select number of flowers in comparison to the others. if a taste would come to mind with the color red, it would surprisingly be caramel. Most caramel I've had has a a smoky taste beneath it's sweetness. it's sticky and thick like yellow but enjoyable.

Orange - we know that nothing rhymes with orange and it's just about as rare in nature as red. To me, Orange is a 'whoops' color. The color of unintentions, abrasive and defensive. It's the color of fighting, of yelling, but it chokes back the color of red because there is a part of yellow that tells the red 'it's not supposed to be this way'. It's a muted anger where yellow is the voice of reason and red wants to break all hell loose.

Brown is the color of death. I know this may surprise you but think about it. When trees die, they don't change color. When we die we become earth, earth is dirt, and dirt is brown. It's very difficult to sway brown into a warm or cool tone, it's a neutral tone. To be neutral is to not have an opinion, to not be here nor there, no specific characteristics. You're just there like a stick on the ground, a squashed bug, or a person who just stopped living. Brown is the color of an inanimate object. Something that cannot live. Which is ironic 'cause it's my skin color. :/

White - The color of nothing. In science isn't it that it's all colors together make white or something like that? But in art white is the absence of color. It's the absence of life. White is the color of loneliness, the partial color of insanity.

Black - The color of everything. Walk out into an empty field and watch the land stretch until you see the line where the sky begins. The line is black because all the colors have meshed together. Black is the color that greets you in the womb and that sings you a lullaby when you go to sleep. Black lets the colors have their own personalities because black is all. It's bruised. It's impatient. It's angry. It's happy. It's lonely. It's bittersweet. It's just bitter or it's just sweet.

So just imagine me in a room with the bipolar color of blue, the deathly color of brown, and the color of nothing. How can I be comfortable in a room that to me, is a room that is an endless sea that will drown me to my death and back to nothing?

I'm sorry, I'm ranting. I'm not scared to go to college, I'm just scared to come back home and find out it's just a house.

So it's back on FF.net, I'm excited and at the same time a lot downtrodden. I mean MR fanfiction has changed a lot since the first Fanfiction Awards, like drastically different. I'm pretty sure there are good authors out there but it's hard to find, when all anyone wants to read and review is preteen mush.

I want to see what's so awesome about these new stories that makes one forget the pillar authors. I know, sounds weird but I wanted to become a pillar author in the MR fanfiction. What am I saying, you guys might not know what a pillar author is. It's an author that was there in the beginning, where almost all inspirations for the fanfiction come from. It's an author who raised the bar for all incoming authors, they're the ones that made you want to write so well because they did. Myrah's like the god pillar ([link]) but there are so many others like, acavoo ([link]), Illa Scriptor ([link]), Supergirrl ([link]), and so much more! There are parts of me that think towards the end I was considered a pillar author and if I am, that'd be awesome. I'd like to be known for that. But the pillar authors don't write so much anymore, so they're not as well known anymore. Most of them have left because of the preteen mush, and I half want to leave as well but I enjoy the fandom too much. So I'm determined to bring the pillar authors back to their former glory but it's very hard with my schedule, the preteen writing, among other things. I feel like I'm getting too old for it but I don't want to stop writing. It just seems like I'm far too tired to battle for quality because most writing seems to be lacking that nowadays. And I know my writing lacks that as well.

So I posted my 3 year anniversary today in the MR fanfiction! Here's my anniversary story list:
This Years: Differently: [link]
Last Years: Time Is On Our Side: [link]
1st anniversary: Man In The Moon: [link]
My first ever MR fanfiction: Let Me Fall: [link]

Isn't that kinda cool that I've stuck with it for so long? *sigh* Last year was when it started getting wonky there.

Anyway, The MR Fanfiction Awards! Please nominate people! Especially Myrah! It'd be awesome if I managed a few myself but I kind of want to get nominated by my own words. I mean, my one shot Deeper still gets an insane amount of reviews despite it's old age of 3 years. 60 reviews... astounding.

So nominate whoever and vote! The MR Fanfiction Awards: [link]

Adieu
Nightwing

Is it? I didn't think it was but the more I think about it, I sort of guess it is. We're so eager to fall in love we're not even sure of what love is.

Anyway, you'll never guess what I'm going to have in the coming week.

Bifocals.

Eighteen and I need to have bifocals, I feel like such a granny.

*sigh* you win some, you lose some.

Any ideas of what I should do? Like maybe draw for this: [link] but maybe not 'cause it maybe an 'awesome friend rig'. And then people will call shinnanigans if they can spell it right... Maybe I'll draw for it anyway and not follow her rules, yay immediate disqualification!!! I <3 you ruretto!

I'm attempting to be more active on fanfiction.net. I'm beta-ing and writing again. I need some new chapters up...

Anyway, how's your summer?